Dear new developer,
For large long term life decisions, you should realize a few things.
First, that few decisions are 100% irreversible.
Second, that the choices you have in the future are based on the choices you make (this is called path dependence).
Finally, that you should take time for important decisions. In fact, you should consult others, spend some time dwelling in your own head, and sleep on it.
I like to check with other people who have been in similar situations when confronting a big decision (like switching a job or starting a consulting company). This of course means that I’ve kept in touch with them over the years (via LinkedIn or by other means). This can be as simple as a coffee or beer or phone call. Even an email where you document the choices as you see them can be clarifying.
Note, you don’t have to do what they suggest. What you want is someone who:
- is close enough to you to have context, so their opinion matters
- will be honest in sharing their opinion
- is going to make you see the decision in different ways
- has experience with similar situations
Spend time thinking about it
Go for a walk. Write some things down (I’m a big fan of plus/minus lists.) Don’t think about the decision for a while. All of these will help you get out of your head.
I have found that it’s easy for me to get wrapped up in a decision and overestimate its importance. The work you do day to day in a company and the people you meet matter a whole lot. But there are many many excellent people everywhere.
But, you should definitely not feel rushed into any decision. If a person offering you an opportunity (whether that be a project, job or other choice) is rushing you into it, that’s a bad sign. It’s an indication that the choice can’t stand on its own.
Sleep on it
Finally, sleep on it. There’s an interesting discussion here, including tips to have a notebook by your bed, but the long and short of it is that if a problem is worth consulting others and dwelling on, often taking an additional eight hours won’t make or break the situation. And a night’s sleep can allow you clarity. Sometimes things that seem true the night before (“I am afraid of taking this job”) appear in a different light after (“What I’m really afraid of is change”).