Use a Conversational Hook When Networking With Strangers

Dear new developer,

Work on your network. It will help you in numerous ways as you progress in your career. Whatever you are looking for: a new job, to hire someone, to get a mentor, to learn about a new technology, having a list of people that you know and/or have worked with that you can reach out to will help you accomplish your goals.

But it can be tough, especially if you are awkward around people. I am awkward around people and learned how to be less awkward. My main technique is to both give and ask for a “hook” in any conversation I start.

Here’s a typical “networking” conversation of which I’ve had many:

Dan: Hi, I’m Dan.

Jan: Hi, I’m Jan.

Dan: Where do you work?

Jan: I work at Company X. Where do you work?

Dan: Company Y.

<crickets>

Compare that with this conversation:

Dan: Hi, I’m Dan.

Jan: Hi, I’m Jan.

Dan: Where do you work?

Jan: I work at Company X. Where do you work?

Dan: Company Y. We recently launched website Z and are evaluating technology ABC. What has your company recently rolled out?

See the difference? Dan has provided Jan with two avenues for conversation–one is asking further about technology ABC or website Z, and the other is talking about Company X. Jan can decide where to take the conversation, but Dan has provided the start of it.

Learning this trick, which comes naturally to many many people, changed the way I network. Another thing that mattered was my realization that everyone, every single person, has an interesting story or anecdote to tell, and that I can learn something. That understanding has made conversation much more fun.

Sincerely,

Dan